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forensicsandpathology:

The 7 Stages of Grief

The loss of a loved one is never easy to deal with. We believe that loved ones are supposed to grow old together, children will outlive their parents, and friendships will last a lifetime. To have one of these beliefs fall apart can have a devastating and profound effect on the homicide survivor’s life. There is no set amount of time it will take to overcome a death. Each survivor will experience death and mourn differently, depending on the relationship he/she had with the victim. Some will move on within a matter of months, yet for others the process may take years.  The 7 stages of grief model offers a general guide to the grieving process that most people experience. It is important to interpret these categories loosely and understand that progression is not consistent; a survivor may loop back to certain stages at certain times.

Stage  1: Shock and Denial

The feelings that come out of this first stage are the result of first learning about the loss. The denial aspect is your attempt to protect yourself from pain and the shock is emotional protection so that you are not overwhelmed all at once. This stage may last for weeks.

Stage  2: Pain and Guilt

The feeling of shock from the first stage will eventually give away to pain. This pain can be excruciating and unbearable but it is important to pass through this experience and not to look for an escape through substance abuse.  Feelings of guilt may also come into play

Stage  3: Anger and Bargaining

At this stage any, bottled-up emotions are release, especially anger. You may lash out at others, especially those close to you and you may attempt to lay the blame on someone else. It is important to try to control this behaviour because it may have long-term effects on the relationships you have with the people around you. In this stage, you also may find yourself pleading to greater powers to bring your loved one back.

Stage  4: Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness

This is when the severity of your loss hits you and you truly begin to understand that you will never see that individual again. These thoughts are incredibly depressing and you may isolate yourself for awhile in order to remember and reflect. Feelings of emptiness, despair, and loneliness are common at this stage.

Stage  5: The Upward Turn

At this stage, you start to become accustomed to your life without your loved one. Things in your life begin to normalize and you find yourself slowly lifting out of your depression.

Stage  6: Reconstruction and Working Through

As you become more functional you realize that you may need to solve some practical and financial problems now that your loved one is no longer in your life. At this stage, you start to reconstruct your life without him/her.

Stage  7: Acceptance and Hope

At this last stage you learn to accept with what happened and start to move on. This does not mean that you are instantly happy, you will never be the same as you were before, but you will find a way to move forward and at some point will look forward to planning your new future. Eventually you will be able to look back and remember your loved one without the pain or sadness. You will once again find happiness and joy in living